Integrity Life Coach Blog

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.” – Dale Carnegie

This quote by the amazing Dale Carnegie is a powerful reminder of the need to complete our “dreaming” or goal setting by creating an NLP ANCHOR and then stepping onto our success path.

An anchor sets up a response pattern so that you can feel the way you want to, whenever you want. Use a sensory stimulus as the anchor to attach to the state you want, and then repeat that stimulus to recreate the state.

There are many examples of this powerful process, already in your memory bank.  Have you ever noticed that when you hear an old song or smell something familiar that specific memories of sounds, tastes, smells or feelings are triggered?  That’s because you consciously or unconsciously created an anchor for this experience.

And you can use this anchoring on purpose, to change your behavior and achieve your goals, such as loosing weight, stopping smoking, overcoming the fear of public speaking, successfully interviewing for a job, improving performance and much, much more.  It can be as easy as turning on a light switch…

Here are the basic steps for creating an anchor.

1. Decide what state you want to anchor. (i.e. confidence)
2. Recall a past vivid experience for the state you are anchoring.
3. Apply a specific trigger as the state is reaching its peak (i.e. press your thumb and index finger together, or think of a symbol)
4. Break the state – think about something else, then
5. Test and Repeat the anchor until you achieve the experience you want

So, think about your dream or goal.  What specifically do you want to accomplish? How will it look, feel, sound taste and smell when you achieve it?

Allow your senses to really come alive as you experience achieving your goal in each of your senses.  Allow that “experience” to grow and grow until it could burst in its intensity. Then apply your trigger.

Working with a clinical hypnotherapist and NLP practioner will allow you to take full advantage of these and even more powerful tools for your personal development and success.

Repeating these steps again and again will bring life to your goals and from that life comes the next step… suiting up and heading out to achieve your success…

I hope you found this helpful.  For more activities like this, and a “fresh perspective“ for your life sign up for my newsletter here.

Wishing you Many blessings this year and always, Patricia

Our December Newsletter
http://community.benchmarkemail.com/users/pevessey/newsletter/Dec-08-2009-Email

New Hypnosis for Weight Loss Courses starting soon…See them here:
http://online.activecommunities.com/BurienParks/Activities/ActivitiesDetails.asp?ProcessWait=N&aid=219

Your comments & feedback are always welcome and encouraged. For an appointment call 206-459-2898 or e-mail me at: patricia@integritylifecoach.comHome page http://www.integritylifecoach.comCopyright© 2010 Patricia Eslava Vessey… All Rights Reserved

My husband and I recently took a vacation to Kauai, Hawaii to celebrate our 16^th wedding anniversary.  We had a wonderful time even though it was just one week.  While there we snorkeled, hiked, shopped and took a fabulous helicopter ride.

Vacations provide a wonderful opportunity to “step away from” life as usual…

Since returning I’ve meditated on the following question:, “So Patricia, what’s going to change – what are you going to do differently in your life now that you’ve returned to it with “fresh eyes”?”

Fresh Eye Perspective

What can a fresh eye perspective do for us, and what’s the point?  We’ve all heard the statement about being too close to a situation to see it clearly.  Well, stepping out of and gazing at our lives helps us see what we are actually doing.

Taking an unbiased objective view provides us many pearls of wisdom.  We can see where we are supporting our selves, where we need help, what we are tolerating, how we are treating ourselves and what effect it’s having on our lives…

Gaining a fresh perspective is valuable and you don’t need to travel on an airplane or spend money to do it. Here’s an activity to help.

Activity

Find quiet time alone

Close your eyes and take several deep-relaxing breaths

Picture yourself as the main character on a movie screen as you are sitting in the audience watching…

Allow the movie to begin in 2009… and watch as month by month goes by…

What do you see?  What happens to the main character?  What is she/he doing, thinking, seeing, feeling and telling herself?

Allow yourself time to take it all in…

Then, knowing you can change the movie for this main character for 2010, think about how you will change it.  What will happen…. What do you want to happen…

Spend quality time here designing the script and casting characters…

Write it all down and check it periodically through out the year for any editing you may want to do.

I hope you found this helpful.  For more activities like this, and a “fresh perspective“ for your life sign up for my newsletter here.

Wishing you Many blessings this year and always, Patricia

Our December Newsletter
http://community.benchmarkemail.com/users/pevessey/newsletter/Dec-08-2009-Email

New Hypnosis for Weight Loss Courses starting soon…See them here:
http://online.activecommunities.com/BurienParks/Activities/ActivitiesDetails.asp?ProcessWait=N&aid=219

Your comments & feedback are always welcome and encouraged. For an appointment call 206-459-2898 or e-mail me at: patricia@integritylifecoach.comHome page http://www.integritylifecoach.com Copyright© 2010 Patricia Eslava Vessey… All Rights Reserved

As the year comes to an end I want to express my deep gratitude to you for supporting me this past year through attending my classes, choosing to hire me, reading my blog/newsletter and being my friend and colleague.  You have enriched my life immensely.  Thank you.

With the ending of 2009, and the beginning of 2010, each of us has a unique opportunity to start over again with a clean slate, keeping what worked, discarding what didn’t serve us, and creating more of what we want in the year to come.

It all begins with a vision or a dream of how we want our lives’ to unfold…

Wish your 2010 dreams to be the very best for you yet.  Cheers for a year filled with love, laughter, health and prosperity for you.

May this little video inspire your dreams…       http://www.thedreamsmovie.com/

Warmest wishes,

Patricia

Cultivating Hope.

Hi there,

Patricia here and I want to personally wish you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving.

 I love this quote.

“GRATITUDE unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~ Melody Beattie, Author

This is the time of year when many of us take the opportunity to count our blessings and give thanks. It’s also a good time to pause and reflect about the things we can do to make a positive impact on our lives and the lives of others.

I want to thank YOU for being in my life, on my list and for reading all my emails…I could never do it without you.

Wishing you happiness, health, and good fortune this Thanksgiving and always,

Patricia

Hi everyone!  I am so excited to tell you about my latest creation, a 6 hour course on releasing excess body weight.  I have combined my 29 years experience as a fitness trainer, knowledge from my certifications in training, coaching, hypnotherapy, personal training and Neuro-Linguistic Programming, to bring you the best processes, techniques and experiences so that you can effectively release weight and achieve the success you desire.

Have you had it with diets that only work for a little while? Have you tried everything and nothing seems to work? Losing weight can be one of the most challenging experiences in your life… if you let it.  All success begins in our mind… 

Now, not only will you remove the barriers that hold you back, you will also learn to reprogram your mind and create the success you have longed for.

If you want to exercise consistently and eat healthy food, this course is for you.  If you are working out yet still struggling with consistency and healthy eating attending this course will tip the scale in your favor and you will be successful.

Even though the topic is weight loss, you can use these skills anywhere in your life such as employment, sales, leadership, relationships and more.  The class won’t be a piece of cake either, you’ll be keeping track of food intake, exercise, and other healthy habits, report on your progress, and you will have the support of the entire group AND your accountability partner.  Not only that, you will receive a FREE copy on my new hypnosis CD on weight loss, titled “Letting Go” so you can listen at your leisure and allow my suggestions to help you eat healthy, exercise regularly and feel good! 

Feedback from my courses:

“Good class, made me realize I have work to do on myself – gave me good insight on relationships” DM

“Excellent presentation!  I can’t wait to implement ideas.” HH

 ”It was very informative and motivating and pointed me in the right direction”  A.Barchman

 ”Wonderful, gave me tools to reflect.” BJ

 ”Thank you. You are a great presenter!” LJR, CPA

Here are the current classes and contact information.

What:  6 Hour Weight Loss Course

When/Where/Cost: Only $79.00! This course will change your life forever!

 Choose one of the 3 times & locations:

 Parks & Recreation Centers:

Des Moines Activity Center (206) 870-6527 to register

• 1. Mondays-July 6, 20 & 27   6:30PM – 8:30PM or
• 2. Mondays-August 3, 17 & 24 6:30PM – 8:30PM

Burien Community Center (206) 988-3700 to register

• 3. Wednesdays-July 15, 22 & 29 – 6PM – 8PM or

 Using these innovative and proven methods from Hypnosis, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Life Coaching and Personal Fitness Training, you will discover that weight loss can be far easier than you ever imagined. Wear comfortable clothing; bring a mat or blanket and pillow and pen and paper.  I hope to see you there!

 My best,

Patricia

I recently presented a seminar on clarifying coaching competencies to a group of early childhood trainers.  First I want to acknowledge anyone who works in this stressful, highly demanding and sorely acknowledged profession.  You have my utmost respect and admiration.

The purpose of the seminar was to review the 11 core coaching competencies as defined by the International Coach Federation and for participants to learn and practice basic coaching skills including Active Listening and Powerful Questioning. 

As a way of practicing these skills I had participants work in pairs and answer the following questions.

1. If you could do anything you wanted with no limitations, what would it be?
2. What am I willing to say no to?
3. What am I committed to for my quality of life, and
4. What do I need to complete in order to feel a sense of freedom?

 While I used these questions for the purpose of practicing listening and questioning skills, they are great coaching questions to contemplate as you move forward and create more of what you want in your life.  To explore them in more detail…

Take some time now to answer question 1.  Then answer,

1. What would it mean to you if you did this?
2. What would it take for you to do this?
3. And then, list three steps you could take to do it. 

Spending time thinking and writing about what you want will turn the spot light on what you want and illuminate the choices to make to manifest them. 

Many blessings to you as you do this important work.

Patricia

Our wonderful dog Spencer, an 11 year old Papillion, loves to shake his paw for a cookie.  We bought special healthy snacks for these special times, and they are a-plenty.  Spencer jumps up and down and barks for a cookie after each meal we eat, as we are stir our coffee (who knows how this was created), after baths, nail clippings, and just because he thinks he’s a good boy

One day I tried an experiment.  Instead of a cookie, I gave him pieces of his dog food for the hand shaking.  He didn’t even notice the difference!  Interesting….  So I decided to use his dog food instead of an actual cookie for awhile.  Still he didn’t notice. 

My husband felt like I was cheating Spencer out of a real treat, but I don’t think so.  First, I figured his dog food is probably healthier than so many “cookies treats all day long.  Second and most important, it’s not important to Spencer what treat he gets.  He is more interested in the process of shaking hands for a treat… 

 What a powerful lesson for us?  How often do we fix our eyes on the treat and exclude the opportunity to fully experience the process or journey we are on?  Is the treat more important than your journey?  What are some ways to add that awareness and appreciation along the way?

Spencer

 PS Spencer still gets some “real” cookie treats

Dear Friends,

As 2008 comes to an end I think about you with gratitude.  Thank you so much for supporting me through reading my blog, attending my workshops and fitness classes, and hiring me.

I wish you the very best year ever, and l look forward to our mutually rewarding ongoing partnership.

Please take a few moments to watch this wonderful and inspiring video, and may you all find joy this coming year.

http://www.findingjoymovie.com/

All my best,

Patricia

I’ve been retired (after 30 years of government work) for 15 months now. I’m so fortunate to have begun my career early. I can’t believe the time has passed so quickly. 

I am thrilled to have joined the ranks of my esteemed retired colleagues who entered into this life changing, identity re-defining new state of “being” before me.  They said, I would love it and they were right.

Retirement has been both a soul quenching joy and a huge challenge this year.  I had big plans for expanding my coaching and training business after I retired, and couldn’t wait to begin “my new job”.

During the process I learned an amazing lesson about balance.  Without the external controls of an 8-5 job, my new work schedule was often 6:30 am to 11 pm.  I barely took time for food and bathroom breaks not to mention walking, golfing, visiting friends or other activities I longed to do in my retirement.  Thank goodness I taught fitness classes and had to get away from the computer and phone.

I finally had time to work on my business, and was driven to make it a success.  However, the deadly “owning your own business tentacles” wrapped tightly around me smothering me in the many activities required to run a business.

It’s no wonder that after several months my life became unbalanced. I focused exclusively on one goal. I began to feel trapped, unhappy and discouraged.  This was not the retirement bliss I had written about in my 5 year future-life letter while in coaching school almost 5 years ago.

I had a huge revelation! What the heck was I doing?  Here I was TRULY FREE AT LAST, and working myself to the bone – not enjoying it like I hoped for in my letter.  

I finally realized that NO goal is worth sacrificing my own wellness to achieve. When we work like this, and many of us do… our bodies give us warnings to stop such as headaches, fatigue, depression, weight gain/loss, lack of sleep, anxiety or major illness before they eventually break down…

I thought about the lessons I emphatically teach in my workshops…

First take extraordinary care of yourself, eat well, exercise and engage in nurturing activities like getting a massage, loosing your self in a hobby, journaling, meditating or reading a good book.

Second, create an internal and external support system that will help enable you to achieve your goals without sacrificing your wellness in the process.

Third, take quality time to reflect, acknowledge and peacefully contemplate where you are and where you want to be.  After all, we can’t help others if we don’t first put the oxygen mask on ourselves…

Ask yourself:  What am I doing? Where is my life unbalanced?   What am I giving up to achieve what I am pursuing? What are my TRUE priorities?

Stay tuned for Part II

Your comments & feedback are always welcome and encouraged. For an appointment call 206-459-2898 or e-mail me at: patricia@integritylifecoach.com Home page http://www.integritylifecoach.com Copyright© 2008 Patricia Eslava Vessey…All Rights Reserved

Be gentle with yourself.  If you will not be your own unconditional friend, who will be?  If you are playing an opponent and you are also opposing yourself – you are going to be outnumbered.

- Dan Millman

I love this quote about being gentle with ourselves – being our own unconditional friend. 

Most of us are not aware of our inner relationship. Often our self-talk is negative, hurtful and unsupportive.  We would never talk to a close friend this way, yet it flows with ease when we direct it at us. Why is that?  If our environment is also negative and unsupportive, what happens to us at a deep level with all this negativity? I believe we hold this negativity within us and it festers away causing even more internal damage including health problems.

You may wonder Why this so important, especially if you believe you are only hurting yourself…and/or sadly you think you don’t deserve anything better. When we hurt ourselves, not only do we dwell in the purgatory of self defeat, we also rob others of the very best of us. Those who depend on us, work with us or live with us get short changed.  How much patience, understanding, love and companionship do we really have to offer when we are not blessing ourselves by being gentle, loving and supportive inwardly?

Maybe this makes sense to you.  You know you need to improve your inner relationship and you are wondering how to do do it – where to start…

Begin by creating a vision of how you want to “be” with yourself, and spend time answering these questions.

What would it look like, how would you talk to yourself, especially when you didn’t meet your own expectations? How would you support yourself? 

What would your life like if you were gentle with yourself, and your own unconditional friend? 

How would you feel, think and be with yourself?

Spending time on creating a strong inner foundation will help you in all areas of your life.  Won’t you begin this vital work now? 

Many blessings, hope and love to you,
Patricia

Your comments & feedback are always welcome and encouraged. For an appointment call 206-459-2898 or e-mail me at: patricia@integritylifecoach.com Home page http://www.integritylifecoach.com Copyright© 2008 Patricia Eslava Vessey…All Rights Reserved

Hi all,
I just completed a session with my coach, and by the way, if you are shopping for a coach, it’s important to ask potential coaches if they are recipients of coaching.  This is because you want to know if your coach is also growing, learning and moving forward in their own lives.  Being in a coaching relationship is a commitment to their personal growth, and when they are at their best, you receive the best services.  I cannot say enough about how coaching has/is helping me stay true to my goals.  It is the best thing I have ever done for myself.  Maybe I’ll write about it in another post…

I want to share the steps I go through when I face adversity.  I hope they will be an encouragement to you.  (Note: I have way too much content for a blog post, so check my website for an upcoming Ecourse on this topic, and for future workshops/telecourses.  This post is a condensed version.  If you want more now, please contact me for coaching. or send an email to find out more.)

We all go through hard times.  It’s the human condition.  There is no escape.  So, stop feeling like a failure for having struggles in the first place.  What is more critical is how we manage ourselves during these times.  I look at them as opportunities to learn, grow and redefine some aspect of me, and what I want in my life.  Maybe I’m not living the way I want to, maybe I’m not honoring myself in the areas of exercise, balance, self-talk, time alone and it’s at the boiling point.   Maybe I am tired of being in a job that doesn’t fit who I am, and it has reached crisis level.  Struggles represent anything that is no longer working for us.

Think about it, it’s these hard times that move us out of discomfort into a more meaningful existence, and isn’t that what we all want?  We want our lives to matter, to contribute, to help others and to live life passionately following our purpose, right? 

Life is so much easier when we are not in boiling water, isn’t it?  We may continue on in our meager existence, maybe cooking small, or taking ourselves out of the kitchen altogether, afraid to even try creating our own feast. So how do we take full advantage of “being in the boiling water” and nourish ourselves in the process?

When I am in major boiling water, I am in and out of the carrot and egg pots several times until I finally land in the coffee pot.  The entire pot jumping time depends on the type and depth of my struggle. My steps include the following:

1) Recognize – and appreciate that I am in boiling water
2) Retreat – and go within with lots of soul searching questions
3) Resolve – to stay with it to the end, avoiding the tendency to escape from it, and
4) Recreate – new ways of being, thinking, feeling and/or acting as a result of my learning.

It is so important to nurture, love and support yourself in this most important process and opportunity.  Maybe this includes taking walks, warm baths, writing, painting, meditating or all of these self care activities.  If you are deeply frustrated, angry or depressed, resist any urges to strike out at others, and/or yourself.  Instead, support yourself through it as you would care for those you love.
 
Love, and Abundant Blessings to You,
Patricia
Your comments & feedback are always welcome and encouraged. For an appointment call 206-459-2898 or e-mail me at: patricia@integritylifecoach.com Home page http://www.integritylifecoach.com Copyright© 2007 Patricia Eslava Vessey…All Rights Reserved