Archive for 2006

How will I begin my day…

Monday, December 25th, 2006

It fills me with joy to remember that I can set the tone for my day, each day.  Before I step out of bed in the morning, I have the opportunity to decide what kind of experience I want to have during the day. Will it be a good day, bad day, my best day ever, and how do I want to be during the day. 

Creating an affirmation helps me in this process.  By declaring, “This will be my very best day yet”, no matter what I may be facing during the day, I am setting my intention and I’m filled with expectation that this will be so. 

What kind of day do you want to create for yourself? What affirming statement will you make before you get out of bed tomorrow? Try these:

  1. I am happy, relaxed and joyful.
  2. I will be very productive today.
  3. I will meet every situation with confidence and patience.

How will you begin your day tomorrow? What affirmations will support you?

Peace & Blessings to you always,



From Disappointment to Joy

Tuesday, December 19th, 2006

Do you ever leave the holiday season feeling empty and disappointed?  Maybe your best intended plans went sour, or your hopeful expectations were met with failure. Possibly, you vowed not to do Christmas again…. Managing disappointment can be very challenging during the holidays, especially at Christmas.  My guess is that many of us can easily recall memories of disappointment during this time of year.  Perhaps we remember a disappointed look or hurt feelings during a gift-giving event, or family gatherings were less than what we hoped for.  Maybe we felt unable to give the kind of experience we desired, or maybe we felt left out. 

We process disappointment in different ways too.  Some of us feel pain, and internalize it feeling sad, while others feel that discussion helps us process the experience.  Still others may be able to quickly “get over it” by taking a deep breath and letting it all go.  My husband and I learned more about disappointment and how differently we process it during our recent vacation…      

We are airborne on a 757 plane, headed for Kona, Hawaii, and I can hardly believe it.  I have waited for this vacation for months, in fact, I’ve stored up my rest and relaxation for this very purpose – to be in a place and space where I can exhale, release and relax.   If you really know me, you are probably thinking, it’s about time she took a vacation, and if you haven’t already said it, you wish you would have said, “leave your work at home Patricia, and use this time to just relaaaaaaaaaaxxxx”.  

What’s also true, is that unlike my husband who takes constant breaks throughout the year, by going on hunting and fishing trips, I save up all my breaks for a big relaxing vacation (I’m re-thinking this one ).  We love to stay at our favorite place in Kona.  It has a wrap around lanai directly over the crashing ocean waves, and we experience this turquoise, blue and white, powerful, purifying Musical 24 hours of the day.  For me, being in a place like this is sacred.  It is one of the most wonderful, spiritual, and creative experiences of all, and the longer I am here, the more intense it becomes.  

Communing with water gives me a deep and profound connection with nature, beauty, God, power, serenity, creativity and with myself.  As I humbly sit before the ocean, I am aware that my world is minuscule compared to the enormous world around me, and I love being a part of something so vast and amazing.
There are so many things to look forward to in Kona.  Snorkeling is something we love very much.  Viewing sea life under water is like visiting another country, observing different customs and life styles, while trying to memorialize it all with my under water camera.  
We cherish the volcano, waterfalls, flowers, dolphins, turtles, and tide pools, not to mention the constant warmth and dependable blue sky, and we anticipate experiencing them with wild abandon.   

For me however, what I look forward to the most is time to reconnect with me.  I am intimately aware of how important and beneficial it is to do this, and I look forward to it with excitement.  Visualizing my sacred morning ritual of coffee and journaling in the presence of the ocean has been a cherished memory the past few months.   After more than a five-hour cramped and uncomfortable flight, we arrived, safely at our room in Kona. We lugged in over 60 pounds of swollen luggage, (which I solemnly vow to diminish on our next trip, and I keep telling my husband to remind me of this…), turned on the lights, and explored the condo.   

We looked at the bedroom, bath, kitchen, and lanai, and felt our excitement fill the air.  We were finally here, and were elated.  As I stood in the kitchen, a furry creature scurried past me into the bathroom where it squeezed it’s body including a very long tail, through an opening under the vanity.  At first, in my tired state I thought, oh, they must have forgotten to let their cat out.  Then, when reality set in, I screamed “Oh my gosh Honey, there’s a rat in the condo”, and I could not climb on the counter fast enough.  I refused to come down until every nook and cranny was thoroughly checked.  My husband then stuffed towels in the opening to make sure the creature didn’t come back in.  By then it was about 12:30 am, and the property management office was closed. After leaving a message, we went out for a walk, and then much later, I fearfully lay down to sleep.   

Our vacation excitement had turned to disappointment, first when they didn’t believe us about the animal, then when they could not find another, satisfactory room.  The conversations continued for three days while we stayed in temporary lodging and waited for them to bait and remove the poor furry creature.  I kept thinking of the poor thing, trapped, frightened, and possibly facing death, and I felt terrible.  We later learned that when they removed the towel, and set the traps the poor creature had chewed a large hole in it desperately trying to get out. We never did hear what happened to the creature because the property manager was a member of PETA and didn’t want to know the details when the animal was removed. 

We didn’t dare unpack, not knowing our fate, and instead, lived out of suitcases.  It was the busy holiday season, and the complex had lists of people waiting for room cancellations.  The way things were going, we feared not even getting a room…  We were depressed, edgy with one another, and we dragged our disappointment around like a ball and chain.  We had saved our money, and made sacrifices to come to Kona, to celebrate our anniversary, and now this…   

We solved this problem by moving to another resort after frustration with the property management staff.  We eventually found a perfect and wonderful room, and were finally able to achieve the rest, relaxation, and joy we desired. We have had an incredible time playing and having fun together, snorkeling, exploring, celebrating, eating, and indulging ourselves and we are deeply grateful for this vacation.   

Managing our disappointment in this experience was rich in learning for us too.  We learned that with this situation, I was able to let it go of the disappointment fairly quickly, while my husband’s process was more involved.  It was important for him to think about, analyse, and discuss what occured.  There are great advantages to both processes and we used our differences to support one another. We also know that every situation may illicit a different process for us.  What is important is providing support, understanding, and respect for each other in our differences.  We learned that disappointment gives us the opportunity to go inward, explore our experience, create ways to support ourselves and further our journey of self-discovery. To learn more about yourself and disappointment, consider these questions:   

1.        What does disappointment mean to me?
2.        How do I experience disappointment?  What is my process?
3.        What are ways that I can support myself through disappointment?   
My sincere wish for you this holiday season is that you experience peace, joy, love and the special reason for the season.  If you do however, experience disappointment, my wish is that you are able to learn and grow closer to compassionately caring for yourself through it.
Peace, Blessings, Joy and Love to You,

Your comments & feedback are always welcome and encouraged.  For an appointment call 206-459-2898 or e-mail me at: Home page http://www.integritylifecoach.comCopyright© 2007 Patricia Eslava Vessey…All Rights Reserved 




Leaving on a Jet Plane…

Friday, December 8th, 2006

Hi everyone! I’m off to Kona Hawaii this morning, and can’t wait to feel the warm sun on my skin, hear the waves crashing in front of the condo, and swim in the ocean. Vacation for me is a time of relaxation, refocusing and indulging in what I want to do.  I plan to join a couple of gyms and actually take other people’s classes, rather than teach them myself (which is really a treat for me), do lots of snorkeling and kayaking, some shopping and lots of writing, so stay tuned… In the meantime, here’s some questions to consider: 1. What does a vacation mean to you?  2. What need does going on one fufill in you?  3. What are good feelings you remember from past vacations? 4. How can you recreate that feeling now, if you’re not on vacation? 5. What can you do to remember these feelings now and then? Till later… Peace & Blessings, Patricia

Your comments & feedback are always welcome and encouraged.  For an appointment call 206-459-2898 or e-mail me at: Home page  Copyright© 2007 Patricia Eslava Vessey…All Rights Reserved 

12 Questions to Contemplate This Season

Wednesday, November 29th, 2006

I don’t know about you, but for me this holiday can bring with it an enormous amount of stress.  For many, Christmas is supposed to be a time for festivities, family, friends, jolliness, gift giving, love and the REAL reason for the season.  Yet, stress, depression, and loneliness are, for some of us, unwanted gifts this time of year.

These feelings appear in many ways.  For example, the pressure to select and buy gifts for family, friends, co-workers and others can be stressful and costly. The amount of mental and emotional energy we put into each selection can be overwhelming, and make us feel like, “what’s the use”? 

Deciding not to give gifts can bring feelings of guilt, even if we feel deeply about not giving them, and/or if we are unable to afford them. As a result, the pressure to conform closes in on us, so what do we do?

Loneliness, depression, and isolation during this holiday can weigh heavily on us too.  Often those of us who are single feel it the most.  We are saddened at the sight of a family enjoying the season and reminded of our aloneness. Maybe we feel that we have no friends, family, and/or significant other, and feel an enormous emptiness inside.  

Family conflicts, job challenges, and money issues are also avenues for negative feelings during this season, especially with the accompanying pressures all around us.

What can we do, and how can we avoid negative feelings this year? How can we create a better experience for ourselves? What would it be like to have an experience that is meaningful, transforming, and one that alters our thinking permanently? If our current experience is ok, how can we make it even better?

I warmly invite you to join me in this activity.  We will create a new experience together.

Ready? Ok, now, get your cup of tea, curl up in a comfy chair, with pen and paper, and make time to answer these questions.

Let’s begin with deep breaths, a relaxed state, and a commitment to try something new.   You must make room for the “new” by letting go of the “old”.  Now, write the answers. . .       

1.       What do I REALLY want to experience during the holidays?

2.       What will this experience do for me? 

3.       How will it make me feel?

4.       What are the benefits of this experience to me, to others?

5.       Brainstorm a long list, no matter how unrealistic (until I can’t write anymore), of ways that I can create this experience.

6.       Go back through the list and mark the ones I could do.

7.       What am I willing to do?

8.       What will really support me in doing this?

9.       What will it be like when I have this experience?

10.     What are my First, Second and Third steps?

11.      When will I begin?

12.     What does creating a new holiday experience for myself say about me?

Finally, as you are out there, whenever you catch yourself (and try to, many times during the day), ask, how can I make this more enjoyable and meaningful.

When we are more fully present in our own experience, we have far more to offer others.

My wish for you this season is that you will create a meaningful, transforming, and lasting experience for yourself.

Peace & Many, Many Blessings to You!  Patricia 

Copyright & Permission Copyright © 2006-7 All rights reserved.  Please feel free to share these articles, as long as this copyright notice, author and website is included. Author is Patricia Eslava Vessey, Integrity Coaching & Training Systems    Thank You!


Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006

The special holiday of Thanksgiving gives us an opportunity to press the pause button and take stock of the blessings in our lives. It’s a time when we can notice and be grateful for a job and roof over our heads, a loving pet, and companion, good health, cherished friends, grandchildren, opportunities, freedom, hobbies, creativity, and life itself.
Not only is this an opportunity to be thankful for what we have, we also have a chance to embrace the feelings of thankfulness.  Being in the state of thankfulness brings in positive, healing energy that nourishes us deep in our souls. It feels good, like a warm cozy comforter on a cold winter night, like the first bite of our favorite ice cream, or better yet, warm pie and ice cream, or like a long walk in the warm springtime.

Practicing thankfulness helps us create positive beliefs and this promotes positive behavior. It also releases endorphins into our system, which improves health and a happy outlook.

Would you like to try it right now?  Get a pen, paper, and write at the top: I AM THANKFUL FOR____: Then number it 1-100 and fill in the blanks.  Write down anything that pops in your head, and do it quickly.  Then, read your list slowly and aloud. Notice how you feel when you have completed this. 

You may even want to tape it to your refrigerator for a while or the mirror in your bathroom.  Creating a thankfulness journal will give you yet another opportunity to continue adding to your list.

When we practice thankfulness, we open ourselves to another experience of our world.  As we continue to discover and acknowledge our thankfulness, it grows and touches the lives of others and ourselves in positive ways.

I am thankful for each one of you! Peace & Blessings, Patricia

Change AKA New Beginnings

Sunday, November 19th, 2006

Some of us thrive on change and new beginnings. We find it exhilarating to try new things and experience the unknown. Like Columbus discovering the new world, we pack our bags, ready to set sail into the uncharted territory of possibility. We become excited thinking about the opportunities to experience our world and ourselves in different ways. Change can also trigger our creativity, filling us with new ideas and ways to experience the new beginnings. Sometimes we can become so immensely excited about change we may loose focus, becoming scattered and forgetful. This is usually when I lock myself out of my house, car, or office. That’s when I know it’s time to reorient and refocus.   

For others, change disrupts something deep within us that is already working well, at times, very well. We may have everything in order in our lives and routine, predictable, with space and time to do all that is important to us. Others may rely on our predictability and the security this provides. Change may trigger previous experiences we feel were not productive or that cost us too much personally, in the name of change. We may feel resistant, uncertain and loss in giving up something we feel is important.   

What we have in common is that change and new beginnings illicit responses from us. Certainly, these responses depend on in what area of our life the change will take place; however, our previous experiences with change will be our guideline for future change unless we intervene.   So, how can we optimize our experience of change? Some suggestions that work well are being mindful and aware of our own process, being gentle and understanding with ourselves if there’s resistance, practicing exquisite self care, and whenever possible creating clarity and focus as we sail through change and welcome new beginnings.   

New beginnings can also mean breathing in new opportunities, possibilities and hope for something wonderful, while letting go of something that no longer fits. It can be a time of carving out space to be fully present in something we can co-create.   Knowing that we are completely in charge of ourselves, including how we respond to change can fill us with confidence, knowing that we can make our response anything we want it to be. We can choose to dig our heels in and resist like crazy, demanding to stay in the same space, routine or thought pattern, and not welcoming these changes, or we can choose to embrace these new beginnings with grace, fully in charge, master (mistress) of our response.   

What challenge are you facing in your life now that is interfering with your ability to create a new beginning for yourself? Try these two assignments: Close your eyes and breathe deep, full, and cleansing breaths. As you inhale, breathe in hope, possibility, and opportunity. As you exhale let go of anything that no longer serves you. Continue with this for at least five minutes focusing on opening, bringing in, and letting go of what you don’t want.   

Next, get a pen and paper and title your writing, What Will Support Me in Experiencing Change & New Beginnings? Then, write non-stop, not censoring your writing (in any way, including grammatical changes) for three full pages. You will gain a new understanding and appreciation in doing this.   Until next time, my hope is that your experience of change and new beginnings brings you closer to fully experiencing, embracing, and loving yourself.  .

Peace & Blessings, Patricia    

Copyright & Permission Copyright © 2006-7 All rights reserved.  Please feel free to share these articles, as long as this copyright notice, author and website is included. Author is Patricia Eslava Vessey, Integrity Coaching & Training Systems   

Thank You!

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