I don’t know about you, but for me this holiday can bring with it an enormous amount of stress.  For many, Christmas is supposed to be a time for festivities, family, friends, jolliness, gift giving, love and the REAL reason for the season.  Yet, stress, depression, and loneliness are, for some of us, unwanted gifts this time of year.

These feelings appear in many ways.  For example, the pressure to select and buy gifts for family, friends, co-workers and others can be stressful and costly. The amount of mental and emotional energy we put into each selection can be overwhelming, and make us feel like, “what’s the use”? 

Deciding not to give gifts can bring feelings of guilt, even if we feel deeply about not giving them, and/or if we are unable to afford them. As a result, the pressure to conform closes in on us, so what do we do?

Loneliness, depression, and isolation during this holiday can weigh heavily on us too.  Often those of us who are single feel it the most.  We are saddened at the sight of a family enjoying the season and reminded of our aloneness. Maybe we feel that we have no friends, family, and/or significant other, and feel an enormous emptiness inside.  

Family conflicts, job challenges, and money issues are also avenues for negative feelings during this season, especially with the accompanying pressures all around us.

What can we do, and how can we avoid negative feelings this year? How can we create a better experience for ourselves? What would it be like to have an experience that is meaningful, transforming, and one that alters our thinking permanently? If our current experience is ok, how can we make it even better?

I warmly invite you to join me in this activity.  We will create a new experience together.

Ready? Ok, now, get your cup of tea, curl up in a comfy chair, with pen and paper, and make time to answer these questions.

Let’s begin with deep breaths, a relaxed state, and a commitment to try something new.   You must make room for the “new” by letting go of the “old”.  Now, write the answers. . .       

1.       What do I REALLY want to experience during the holidays?

2.       What will this experience do for me? 

3.       How will it make me feel?

4.       What are the benefits of this experience to me, to others?

5.       Brainstorm a long list, no matter how unrealistic (until I can’t write anymore), of ways that I can create this experience.

6.       Go back through the list and mark the ones I could do.

7.       What am I willing to do?

8.       What will really support me in doing this?

9.       What will it be like when I have this experience?

10.     What are my First, Second and Third steps?

11.      When will I begin?

12.     What does creating a new holiday experience for myself say about me?

Finally, as you are out there, whenever you catch yourself (and try to, many times during the day), ask, how can I make this more enjoyable and meaningful.

When we are more fully present in our own experience, we have far more to offer others.

My wish for you this season is that you will create a meaningful, transforming, and lasting experience for yourself.

Peace & Many, Many Blessings to You!  Patricia 

Copyright & Permission Copyright © 2006-7 All rights reserved.  Please feel free to share these articles, as long as this copyright notice, author and website is included. Author is Patricia Eslava Vessey, Integrity Coaching & Training Systems www.integritylifecoach.com    Thank You!

The special holiday of Thanksgiving gives us an opportunity to press the pause button and take stock of the blessings in our lives. It’s a time when we can notice and be grateful for a job and roof over our heads, a loving pet, and companion, good health, cherished friends, grandchildren, opportunities, freedom, hobbies, creativity, and life itself.
 
Not only is this an opportunity to be thankful for what we have, we also have a chance to embrace the feelings of thankfulness.  Being in the state of thankfulness brings in positive, healing energy that nourishes us deep in our souls. It feels good, like a warm cozy comforter on a cold winter night, like the first bite of our favorite ice cream, or better yet, warm pie and ice cream, or like a long walk in the warm springtime.

Practicing thankfulness helps us create positive beliefs and this promotes positive behavior. It also releases endorphins into our system, which improves health and a happy outlook.

Would you like to try it right now?  Get a pen, paper, and write at the top: I AM THANKFUL FOR____: Then number it 1-100 and fill in the blanks.  Write down anything that pops in your head, and do it quickly.  Then, read your list slowly and aloud. Notice how you feel when you have completed this. 

You may even want to tape it to your refrigerator for a while or the mirror in your bathroom.  Creating a thankfulness journal will give you yet another opportunity to continue adding to your list.

When we practice thankfulness, we open ourselves to another experience of our world.  As we continue to discover and acknowledge our thankfulness, it grows and touches the lives of others and ourselves in positive ways.

I am thankful for each one of you! Peace & Blessings, Patricia
 

Some of us thrive on change and new beginnings. We find it exhilarating to try new things and experience the unknown. Like Columbus discovering the new world, we pack our bags, ready to set sail into the uncharted territory of possibility. We become excited thinking about the opportunities to experience our world and ourselves in different ways. Change can also trigger our creativity, filling us with new ideas and ways to experience the new beginnings. Sometimes we can become so immensely excited about change we may loose focus, becoming scattered and forgetful. This is usually when I lock myself out of my house, car, or office. That’s when I know it’s time to reorient and refocus.   

For others, change disrupts something deep within us that is already working well, at times, very well. We may have everything in order in our lives and routine, predictable, with space and time to do all that is important to us. Others may rely on our predictability and the security this provides. Change may trigger previous experiences we feel were not productive or that cost us too much personally, in the name of change. We may feel resistant, uncertain and loss in giving up something we feel is important.   

What we have in common is that change and new beginnings illicit responses from us. Certainly, these responses depend on in what area of our life the change will take place; however, our previous experiences with change will be our guideline for future change unless we intervene.   So, how can we optimize our experience of change? Some suggestions that work well are being mindful and aware of our own process, being gentle and understanding with ourselves if there’s resistance, practicing exquisite self care, and whenever possible creating clarity and focus as we sail through change and welcome new beginnings.   

New beginnings can also mean breathing in new opportunities, possibilities and hope for something wonderful, while letting go of something that no longer fits. It can be a time of carving out space to be fully present in something we can co-create.   Knowing that we are completely in charge of ourselves, including how we respond to change can fill us with confidence, knowing that we can make our response anything we want it to be. We can choose to dig our heels in and resist like crazy, demanding to stay in the same space, routine or thought pattern, and not welcoming these changes, or we can choose to embrace these new beginnings with grace, fully in charge, master (mistress) of our response.   

What challenge are you facing in your life now that is interfering with your ability to create a new beginning for yourself? Try these two assignments: Close your eyes and breathe deep, full, and cleansing breaths. As you inhale, breathe in hope, possibility, and opportunity. As you exhale let go of anything that no longer serves you. Continue with this for at least five minutes focusing on opening, bringing in, and letting go of what you don’t want.   

Next, get a pen and paper and title your writing, What Will Support Me in Experiencing Change & New Beginnings? Then, write non-stop, not censoring your writing (in any way, including grammatical changes) for three full pages. You will gain a new understanding and appreciation in doing this.   Until next time, my hope is that your experience of change and new beginnings brings you closer to fully experiencing, embracing, and loving yourself.  .

Peace & Blessings, Patricia    

Copyright & Permission Copyright © 2006-7 All rights reserved.  Please feel free to share these articles, as long as this copyright notice, author and website is included. Author is Patricia Eslava Vessey, Integrity Coaching & Training Systems www.integritylifecoach.com   

Thank You!